Euvon Jones:
When I first started feeling bad, I couldn't put my finger on it, but I had pain in my hip. And I didn't understand what that pain was. And I've since heard that people say you can have phantom pain that can move around, but that pain in my hip, I thought it was something orthopedic. And Janet informed me that maybe I need to go and see the orthopedic surgeon who evaluated me, gave me some ibuprofen over the counter, masked the pain, and I felt a little bit better. And so I couldn't put my finger on it.
Janet Jones:
Right. I was more aware of what you were going through than you were aware. I was more aware of what your body was doing than you were aware of your own body. And sometimes it takes two to notice something that's out of order. So I'm just glad we were close enough and not angry at each other enough that I could have let you go through that limp all by yourself, with no help.
Euvon Jones:
Yeah. And I'm glad you did. I'm glad you didn't let me go through that limp because I was definitely limping and I was in denial.
Janet Jones:
And the more it progressed, the more fearful I became that it was something really serious.
Euvon Jones:
Yeah. And that was the first time in my life that I had a pain that I couldn't make look like it was okay. Even when I would go to work, people would say, "Why are you limping like that?" I'd say, "Oh, it's just a pain in the hip." And I would push it off as not exercising enough. And so it was just hard to get in touch with because I never felt like that before. Never.
Janet Jones:
And then I remember the night that you were preparing to go to work and I was asleep, but you dropped your hairbrush and you turned on the light and you seemed like you were 50 pounds. You looked so small. And I'd never seen you wake up at 3:00 in the morning. I would always be asleep, so I never saw you dress or anything.
But that morning, I sat up and said, "What in the world is going on? You have lost a lot of weight." And then you turned on the big light and you said, "Well, I thought I was trying to diet, but I wasn't trying to diet that much." So it was time for you to go back to the doctor. And thankfully, that's what you did more so in a hurry than you did the first time.
Euvon Jones:
Yeah. That's quite true. I wasn't a doctor focused person. I went 59 years and never went in for my checkups, never got screened, never did all of the rudimentary things that are necessary for at least annual physicals, the whole spiel. And I didn't spend a lot of time on maintenance for myself. I was always focused on making sure our business was going, focusing on the business.
Janet Jones:
Actually, it was his orthopedic surgeon's decision to send him to an oncologist, to send him to an MRI, to get an MRI. And once he received the MRI, the technician noticed something that was alarming. And he told Euvon to take the x-rays back to his doctor, the orthopedic surgeon said, "You need to see an oncologist." And that was the darkest day.
Euvon Jones:
And going to see the orthopedic surgeon, I could deal with the structural things that were going on in my life because I always felt that anything that didn't move well, I could always exercise and put myself back in position of it. So in reference to feeling bad, I couldn't totally wrap my brain around it because I was trying to think of what is this like.
And I was conscious of the fact that a lot of our marriage, I always had my six-pack. And so since I was losing weight, I said, "I must be getting better because maybe I'm going to get this six-pack back and lose that one-pack." So the bottom line is that you're focused on that. So in reference to the orthopedic surgeon finally sending me to go see an oncologist when he said oncology.
Janet Jones:
And I'm getting ready to go to my college homecoming reunion gala and I'm dressed. I've got my gown on, my makeup going. And he calls and says, "Can you look up multiple myeloma?" And I'm like, "Why?" And he said, "The doctor said I may have multiple myeloma." And my mind said, "That sounds like a cancer."
And then when he said, "I'm on my way to see an oncologist before I come home." And then I said to myself, "This is cancer." And my mind went all over the place. I took off my dress, wiped off my makeup and I just started crying and I went online and I read up on multiple myeloma and I was absolutely devastated. But when he came home, we act like nothing ever happened.
Euvon Jones:
It's almost like somebody dropped a bomb in the middle of the room and it was so hard to wrap our brains around it. We were both in denial of this cannot be what we think it is. And it's almost like you go into a place of, maybe if I don't talk about it, maybe it doesn't exist.
Janet Jones:
Or maybe they were wrong.
Euvon Jones:
Yeah.
Janet Jones:
Maybe it's something they could have the wrong patient, a different type of diagnosis, but certainly cancer has not come into this house. And so we'd play, "How you doing?" "Good." "What did the doctor say?" "Well, they said it could be some kind of cancer." "Oh, okay. Okay." "I'm ready to eat." "Oh yeah." I said, "Okay, let's do it." And so we went like that for a few days. It was like, this is unbelievable. It's almost like an emptiness that you can't find.
Euvon Jones:
You get fast zoomed into surreal and you're living surreal and it's almost like I didn't feel comfortable talking about it because I didn't even know if I could accept it or not. I just didn't want to dwell on it, didn't want to dwell on it. And so the fact that engaging with each other with the news, it just wasn't...
It's like your brain says, "This isn't real. I'm in another..." It's almost like if you've seen the movie The Matrix, it's almost like they put you back in the Matrix and you're not... Somebody's watching you, but it's just two different worlds. And it took a long time going through that process as I had gotten slowly diagnosed for us to be able to even ...
Janet Jones:
Well, for me, the reality set in when I went with him to see the oncologist and she gave him different types of things to do to confirm this multiple myeloma diagnosis. So he had to take urine tests, he had to do some things at home, and we went back to her and that's when we got the other news that it's not this, but it's stage 4 and that's when it sank in.
The test shows that it's not multiple myeloma, but it is a great possibility of stage 4 metastatic prostate cancer, but we need to confirm with the biopsy. That's when it hit. He has cancer and not only does he have cancer, it has clocked in at stage 4. So then when he says, "Well, how many stages are there?" I'm like, "Sir, you pretty much stop the stage 4." And that reality, we were doing just like this.
Euvon Jones:
It's surreal. It's just surreal.
Janet Jones:
Time stopped.
Euvon Jones:
Yeah. Yeah.
Janet Jones:
Life took a break.
Euvon Jones:
Yeah. People ask you what you feel and you don't feel anything. It's like this big vacuum comes in the midst of your life and it just sucks all the oxygen out of the room, sucks all the feeling out of the room. You can't wrap your brain around it. You don't understand it. And when the Big C has not visited us personally, it's been in other parts of our family, but not us, you just go, "Ugh, you got nothing."
Janet Jones:
Well, as soon as the doctors, the oncologist said, "We're going to do a biopsy here." And her office was maybe as big as this part of the room, and from here to there. And we looked at each other and we asked her, "Could we caucus?" And so she left the room and I said, "You work for a very prominent hospital. You cannot get this biopsy here."
And he said, "You are right. My father said that he had a biopsy and that he would rather die than to get another one." So we both said, "Let's go to Georgetown." And when she came back in the office, she said, "I'm sorry, we can't do the biopsy here. You're going to have to go to the hospital." We were like, "Thank you. Thank you." And so at that point, we knew that we were being led to go to Georgetown.
And we walked out of that office and was like, "No biopsy. I need a martini." And I said, "I don't know if that may mess up the stage 4 and turn it into a stage 5. Don't do it. And so right now, we just got to focus. We got to focus." And so he said, "Oh, you're right, you're right." And so it was almost like we were playing this game, a cat-mouse game. "Okay, I'm not going to do it." But then we go home and we could drink. And it was horrifying because we didn't know what to do.
Euvon Jones:
We didn't know.
Janet Jones:
We were just still, "Okay, what does that biopsy look like?" And the biopsy was, it just sent us over the top because he was in so much pain afterward, to the point where he would just walk through the house just pacing and pacing. And I'm following him around the house and I'm like, "Shut up." Because you're realizing that this strong man is now in a point of weakness where he's moaning and groaning. I've never heard him moan and groan like that.
And it was so devastating to me. It was almost irritating to me to hear him like that. I'm like, "Can't you just get better? And go to work in the morning." And he wouldn't be better. And then when I heard him say, "Lord, help me." And I'm like, "Lord, please, please." And I finally just had to say to him... Just calmed myself down and laid down and just pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, and plead and plead and plead until he eventually quieted down and slipped in the room and went to bed.
And before I went to sleep, I just said, "Thank you" because that was trying to kill me and I needed some rest and we needed some rest for the next day because we didn't know what to expect the next day. So that part was another dark day.
Euvon Jones:
Yeah. The initial pain was horrendous. I couldn't even explain what that pain felt like. There's no words for what that pain felt like. There's no way. But it was so bad that it did cause me to moan and groan. And thank God I didn't stay in that place for a long time, but there was a season of that, maybe a week. Maybe a week.
Janet Jones:
No, it was only two days.
Euvon Jones:
A couple days.
Janet Jones:
If it had been a week, it had been some trouble. There had been some trouble in the home front because I've had severe arthritis and I don't moan and groan like that.
Euvon Jones:
Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. I'm going to tell you, it was-
Janet Jones:
I need two canes to walk.
Euvon Jones:
I was hurting. I was hurt.
Janet Jones:
I hurt too, but I-
Euvon Jones:
No, I was hurt.
Janet Jones:
I don't moan and groan. I said, "If this boy won't stop groaning..."
Euvon Jones:
I didn't know what hurt was like that.
Janet Jones:
I'll be fussing and cursing.
Euvon Jones:
It would have been terrible. It was bad enough as it was.
Janet Jones:
I'd be fighting him.
Euvon Jones:
Mercy.
Janet Jones:
You want to hurt, you're going to cry. I'm going to give you something to cry about.
Euvon Jones:
Mercy. Oh, my goodness.
Janet Jones:
Because we got to fix that.
Euvon Jones:
Fix it. Fix it.
Janet Jones:
After two days, just cut it.
Euvon Jones:
Yeah. Cut it.
Janet Jones:
We can't take that.
Euvon Jones:
We can't.
Janet Jones:
I can't take it.
Euvon Jones:
My goodness.
Janet Jones:
I don't whine on you.
Euvon Jones:
My goodness. Yeah. I'll tell you.
Janet Jones:
When I'm in pain, I'm just talking to myself.
Euvon Jones:
Oh, goodness, goodness.
Janet Jones:
But you, "wa, wa, wa."
Euvon Jones:
It wasn't easy.
Janet Jones:
"Oh God, Lord have mercy." And I'm just trying... And I can't even walk.
Euvon Jones:
I'm telling you. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Oh, my goodness.
Janet Jones:
I'm not, "Lord have mercy. Help me Jesus."
Euvon Jones:
Oh, yes.
Janet Jones:
I don't do that. So I gave you two days.
Euvon Jones:
I didn't know it.
Janet Jones:
After that, back to business. You got to go to work. I don't care.
Euvon Jones:
I didn't know it. I went to work. I went to work.
Janet Jones:
You did go to work.
Euvon Jones:
I went to work hurting.
Janet Jones:
So that's how we felt.
Euvon Jones:
Goodness.
We ended up going to Dr. Dawson because Janet did suggest that, "You work for this formidable hospital, the cutting edge. They're known to be one of the best research hospitals in the world. So why don't you find a good oncologist there?" Because the initial oncologist we went to, naturally, she was sweet, but it's just too many patients, couldn't keep up with everyone. And it took us aback.
So that being the case, I looked up, talked to many of the administrators at the hospital that was one of my biggest clients. One thing led to another, and as the administrators came in line, they suggested that you go see Dr. Nancy Dawson. And in going to see her, it took a long time. I think it was about a month and a half to get in, to get an appointment. And once we finally got in to get that appointment, she took all the information that came from the other oncologist and she scheduled that biopsy.
And when I went in for the biopsy, came back out and she confirmed the stage 4 metastatic prostate cancer, PSA 398. And interestingly, the whole PSA thing is if your PSA, prostate specific antigen readings on your blood markers are above four, you could have prostate problems. If they get to 20, you have prostate cancer. So me being diagnosed at 398 meant I was a dead man walking. You're not supposed to be here with 398.
Janet Jones:
And they also have a Gleason score based on your staging, your cancer staging that I had looked up about the Gleason score. So we asked her what was his Gleason score. And she said, "We're not even going to talk about that. He's too far gone to talk about that."
Euvon Jones:
We don't need another test.
Janet Jones:
We all need another tragic answer.
Euvon Jones:
That's right. Yeah. Oh, my goodness.
Janet Jones:
We'll just leave it at he's got stage 4. We're not going to deal with that. We'll just deal with the cancer itself and the treatment options. So I felt like this is really bad. If you don't want to tell us, this is really, really bad. But she still gave us the confidence that her personality was such that we felt comfortable enough to stay with her and to let her do her job, as well as understanding too, that she specialized in stage 4.
They had a doctor there who specialized in stage 1. There was another one who specialized in stage 2, another in stage 3, and she was the stage 4 prostate cancer oncologist. So we knew that that was because that was her specialty. And then she had the personality included, and she was very honest with us, very detailed, yet made us feel comfortable. We knew that she was the one.
She was very direct, but she was also comforting and positive that she was going to do what she could to help him have a good quality of life. And that was important to us.
And the hospital itself, you just felt like this is just huge edifice that made you feel like, yes, it's an old looking building and with old looking people and you're feeling like they're going to be experienced people who are going to do what they've got to do to make sure he has a good outcome for as long as he's here, which I still didn't think would be a long time, but I felt that as long as he was going to be here, he would have a good quality of life with this particular medical team.
Euvon Jones:
Dr. Dawson explained to us what was available after she gave... She spoke right from the hip. She did not mince her words. She gave the bad news first, and then she gave the good news and the good news that we acclimated towards was a hormone therapy that would work against the things that caused prostate cancer, such as sugar and testosterone.
Janet Jones:
High heat.
Euvon Jones:
Yeah.
Janet Jones:
High heat, cook it, can cause it as well.
Euvon Jones:
And so basically when she put me on that first ADT, androgen deprivation therapy, ADT, it took that PSA and it started to bring it down. And unfortunately, it didn't stay down long, but we kept going with the protocol that I was on. And I also got a shot every three months, which I still get.
And once it got low enough, it started to make a difference. And I could dare say before we went to the next stage of the application of the therapies that we did, my PSA came down from 398 down to two, but then once it hit two, it started rising back up and that scared us.
Janet Jones:
Yeah. But I felt pretty comfortable because it wasn't a chemotherapy or a radiation therapy. It was just hormone. So for me, I felt it sounded easy. It sounded like this is an easy procedure that he can get through. And she informed us that the biggest side effect would be an increased appetite, which it did, but he would also be able to gain some of his weight back. So I was pleased that there was already some type of positivity involved.
He was going to eat again, he was going to gain his weight back again, and it would happen pretty quickly. And so that made me think that I could do something to help that along. I could change his diet. I could get good foods and put it in his system so that while he's taking this hormone therapy, whatever's going on in his body, a good nutritional diet would help build up his immune system so that whatever comes next, he's already ready for that next.
Euvon Jones:
And I kept the torch in my hand because I kept working. I just wasn't that disability kind of guy. If I could crawl out the door, I was going to crawl out the door and do what I had to do. And I was still moving with purpose in reference to our business.
So a lot of things go through your mind as a man of, "Oh my goodness. What happened if I stopped doing what I'm doing? It was just myself and my partner." Now we had men working for us, but we were the principals and it was necessary for everybody to hold up their end. So we had a lot of anxiety in reference to what that felt like.
Janet Jones:
But I was comfortable just remaining on the home front, making sure you had some food when you got in, making sure everything was comfortable. And when he would come home, a lot of times his bones were hurting and he would take these hot showers and he'd be in the shower for like 20, 30 minutes with the water just running.
So I decided to get some water filters for the shower because I wanted clean water, filtered water on his bones. And it started soothing him a lot, that warm, fresh, clear water, and it was soft water. It was the hard water that's typically in our home. So we keep shower filters available for showers. And we rarely have soaking baths now because we have not gotten the filters for the bathtub, but the showers worked really well with him, especially with his bones.
Euvon Jones:
Plus the pulsating of the shower makes you feel better. The immunotherapy piece came after the first protocol, the drug that I was taking to stop working. It was called Casodex, and that's when my PSA started to rise. When it started to rise, Dr. Dawson said, "Don't worry, I got a lot of tricks up my sleeve."
And it was good timing because the immunotherapy I went on just got FDA approved after initial clinical trials in 2010. So to make that decision to go on immunotherapy came from Dr. Dawson giving us information, letting us read, understand it, make sense of it. And I'll be honest with you, because I was not a candidate once again for chemo, radiation or surgery, not just I didn't get it, I wasn't a candidate. I was so far gone. So when she told me of something and Janet and I talked about it, something that can help your blood, restrengthen your body, come back in, refuse and reboot your immune system so you can fight this thing, made all the sense in the world.
Janet Jones:
And the other thing was when his PSAs were at the two, they had to climb again because they needed to be, I think, between 10 and 19.
Euvon Jones:
Yeah. They had to rise.
Janet Jones:
And so they had to rise. But once they got to 19, that's when she said, "This is where we go." And that gave us time to read the package, which I never read the package because I said, "We have nothing to lose to try this clinical trial." We didn't know a lot about the term clinical trial. We just knew that whenever it was mentioned, it was like a bad word, a bad phrase.
So for us, we just felt like either he's going to live or he's going to not live, which was the diagnosis anyway. So we said, "Let's go for it." We shared it with our children and our children, young people aren't into clinical trial, the terminology. They're not into sickness. They're not into anything that has to do with, "I hurt." And so they didn't know about the clinical trial, so they didn't care.
You get, "What's the clinical trial? Whatever." We gave them the packet. They tossed it across their shoulder, "Just do it." And they huddled together we found out later and they said, "We're going to pray. We're going to pray for Dad because we're scared."
But they never showed it to us until that one time they got together and they brought all the families, some extended family and they came over and they prayed and touched him everywhere, was touching all over, hoping he would fall out and he never did, but they walked away confident that he was going to be okay. And today he's so far, he's been okay. And that was in 2013. That was in 2011.
Euvon Jones:
2011. 2011.
I don't dwell on what could happen. I dwell on what I feel and what is happening. And when I dwell on what is and what is right now and what I'm dealing with, and I don't feel bad, I don't, "Oh my goodness. I hope I feel better tomorrow." No, no.
One of the blessings about running a business is the fact that by the grace of God, if you are absorbing in that business and that business requires a lot of you, it can take your concentration off of all the idle thinking that you have trying to maintain something in your life you have no control over. So you work on the things that you can make a difference with.
Janet Jones:
Well-
Euvon Jones:
And also Janet being my prayer warrior, my support right along my side, I wasn't moving and I had initial fear, but once after the immunotherapy, I just, "Oh, I hope this works." No, it made all the sense in the world.
Janet Jones:
But for me, it was different. For me, it was still, is it going to take hold? Because it seemed so simple. It wasn't like you take it until you get worse or better. It's like this is a three time shot and then you're done. So I had some anxiety as to what now and how long do we wait?
And then there was a point where his PSAs rose again, they went back down and then they rose and it was like, okay, so let's go to the store and walk around the store, which we did. And we saw a 80% off sale for kitchen cabinets. So while we were waiting, we decided to buy all these cabinet doors and redo the cabinets. So while we were waiting all these weeks for fluctuating PSAs, he got a hammer and some nails and we hauled those cabinet doors in there in the kitchen and he nailed those cabinet doors.
And after that, his PSA started going down down, but then there was some more anxiety, are they going to rise up again? And after a while, you just get to a place of it's okay because then he was starting to get a little tired and the following year, he decided to retire. So he had worked himself to a point where now I'm tired. I'm on this Xtandi, the immunotherapy's done. I'm still working hard. I don't want to work that hard.
And we decided that at 62, it was time to leave the job and relax and enjoy our life and enjoy what we think could be an okay sort of maybe a couple more years with the immunotherapy. Perhaps God would give him another couple years.
Euvon Jones:
You just don't know. You just don't know. I never expected longevity or a mortality rate in my life after the diagnosis to be what it has been. It's not an automatic.
And the thing that's real about it is that we don't even overthink it. You can't overthink it because if you dwell on what could happen, what might happen, oh, I hope this is, I hope that. First off, once again, we go back to the fact that we had to trust our doctor, trust the procedure, trust the parameters, and then trust the healing.
Janet Jones:
And the most important thing is we had to trust God because I didn't know what to do. I couldn't ask God, "Why is this happening?" Because we're not the greatest Christians. I mean, we love him. We know he loves us, but we sure do act up. And so with that, I can't say, "Why? We've been doing this and we've been doing that." We had not been. But at the same time, I had to ask, "What do I do? And I need some help. I need some guidance. I need to know what to do."
And the first thing that came in my spirit was write, research and write. And I believe that that was what the Lord was telling me to do. And then I had a dream. And there was a little guy walking down an aisle and he was saying, "Write, write." And I said, "Okay, I'm just going to start writing." Not for a book at the beginning. But I just started taking notes and thinking of things and started making notes for foods and meats and cleaning products. And then I started writing about how we felt this day.
And it just started becoming my therapy. And it kept me calm and it kept me focused and it kept me doing something else so that I could write about it. And it brought me back to where we were before all this happened. And if I were to write about that, we would probably be seeing an attorney right now because he would be so upset with me.
But it was a journey that brought us closer to the Lord, closer to each other, closer to enjoying life, closer to him getting to see some grandsons being born because he already had granddaughters. And we've been through some weddings and we've traveled and we've been able to help other people going through the same journey and that's been the most important thing.
Euvon Jones:
When you look at it and you realize in the midst of it, it's not about you. And that's what I would say in reference to looking at your book, it put us out there.
Janet Jones:
And it wasn't about us per se, as much as it was about some loved one needs to hear or read something and maybe perhaps get some hope from something that was shared in that book, something, either from the caregiver's perspective or the patient perspective.
Euvon Jones:
Yeah. The book has been a blessing because two cousins, also from her uncle who had prostate cancer and he never relinquished what was going on with them until we came out of the woodwork and we just allowed that to be a reality, not so much our identity, but our journey. And so with that, those two cousins now dealing with prostate cancer, one of them is going to Dr. Dawson, my doctor.
And thank God he was diagnosed as stage 1. But once again, genetically speaking, his dad had it, he had it, his brother is on the verge and they have a sister, with prostate cancer and breast cancer, like brother and sister. His sister went through breast cancer. So it just starts catapulting. And then you see that it's not about you.
Janet Jones:
And then we have a friend who was in the band that we were in when we met.
Euvon Jones:
Oh, yeah.
Janet Jones:
He was the drummer and he was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer. And he was going to a cancer institute and whatever they were doing, his PSAs kept rising. And he was at stage 4, but his prostate number, his PSA was low. It was like a 40 or something. And he went to see Dr. Dawson.
Euvon Jones:
He went to see Dr. Dawson.
Janet Jones:
After seeing Dr. Dawson, he was able to open up a juicing place and he sells juices.
Euvon Jones:
That's right. Got another business going.
Janet Jones:
He's been to Oriole Stadium and sold juices and smoothies and things like that. He's gotten on a health kick as well. And he's been our friend since we were in our 20s.
Euvon Jones:
And she put him on immunotherapy also, Provenge, put him on Provenge. So the trek, the journey is a tool. It's a tool. And when you've been blessed to be in that space, to be trusted with a tool, you have to be proactive.
Janet Jones:
This is the memoir that I wrote that talks about our prostate cancer journey.
Euvon Jones:
Yes.
Janet Jones:
And hopefully this book will help someone else-
Euvon Jones:
Yes, hopefully.
Janet Jones:
...who's going through the same thing that my husband went through and that I had to endure.
Euvon Jones:
Had to endure.
Janet Jones:
Very much.
Euvon Jones:
You did endure.
Janet Jones:
Yes, endure the trauma. And one of our wonderful cousins did our photo and one of our neighbors did the whole cover back and forward, a little 20-year-old who helped me to just go through this and do everything he needed to do.
Euvon Jones:
Dr. Dawson.
Janet Jones:
Then Dr. Dawson wrote this excerpt here.
Euvon Jones:
Your notes.
Janet Jones:
And our oncologist wrote the foreword to the book. And I was so appreciative that someone of her standing felt, as quoting her, "I would be honored to write your foreword." And it wasn't something I asked her to do. It was something that she volunteered to do. So we are very, very thankful and grateful for all that she's done not only as far as helping me with this, but helping him live. And so that's been a double blessing for me. And I hope this is a blessing for whoever decides to purchase this book on Amazon and be blessed by it, or at least be helped by it and learn something from it.
Euvon Jones:
Our granddaughter, youngest granddaughter, Ryan Olivia-
Janet Jones:
She was nine years old.
Euvon Jones:
...was nine years old. And she wrote an excerpt for a school project first, and then she used this as her reflection in reference to the book. So Janet will read that.
Janet Jones:
The title is "The Time I Found Out My Grandfather Had Cancer."
"It was a summer evening, and the whole family was at a restaurant for family reunion, but it didn't feel like a family reunion because all the grownups were outside huddled in a corner talking. So I said to the kids, 'Let's go outside and play tag.' We did. And the person who was it was focusing on one person, which was me. So I hid behind a cement wall and crept over to hear where the grownups were. That was the whole reason I suggested tag to be nosy. But when I heard what I heard, I wished I hadn't been listening. I'm glad I was though, because I hate secrets. A few hours later, my feet dragged against the concrete and I slouched as if I was a person without bones.
Then my mom jogged over to me and said, 'Don't freak out, but your grandfather has cancer.' I wanted to stop her in the middle of her sentence and say, 'I know my grandfather has cancer,' but I didn't. I listened to those words. They repeated over and over again in my mind. After that, I went in the car and I cried terribly under my cover, pretending I was asleep. Even a few minutes later when I did fall asleep, I couldn't forget it, even if I tried. It's hard for me to know that my grandfather could die any day now. My grandfather is still alive, and I hope he will stay alive until it's his time to go."
By Ryan O. Jones, nine years old.
We have been the most privileged grandparents in the world for someone that young to have such deep thoughts. She has written poetry at 15 years old that has given her runner up status with thousands of kids internationally who've written poetry and written literature. And she's written a couple of plays at 15 years old that's been on off Broadway, but at nine, for her to have that kind of feeling, we have an eight-year-old grandson who's getting ready to turn nine, who doesn't think like that, but she's one of a kind, a deep, deep thinker.
Even as a toddler, she could use words, not know what they mean, but she could use them correctly. And I'm like, "Well, what does appropriate mean?" "I don't know, but it sounds appropriate." I'm like, "Oh, okay." But she's a special, special, special kind of girl, and we were proud to include this in our book because we know how much it meant to her and she knows how much it meant to us.
Euvon Jones:
She put me in touch with feelings that I couldn't explain when she said her feet were dragging the ground.
Janet Jones:
Concrete.
Euvon Jones:
Across the concrete. And there are times that not so much physically I would feel disrupted, but there were times I would feel like all I could do was to just drag myself along. And I didn't dwell in that long, but there were times that you just go to that place. It's like, oh my goodness, this is a heaviness. It's real. It's real.
Janet Jones:
Yeah.
"Then the Holy Spirit stirred in us his presence was always with us. He could be seen through the telephone calls and emails, the cards, the comfort and support from our circle of family and friends and the care of his doctors. He brought us to a pleasant place where we appreciated how much Euvon was loved, enabling him to forge ahead. Once we stood at our back door, admiring the lofty trees surrounding much of our home, trusting that as he cared for the birds fluttering between them and the squirrels posing at the edge of their limbs, he would care for us, never leaving nor forsaking us. Euvon, overwhelmed and unaccustomed to that kind of attention and care, cried."
The advice I would give to patients and caregivers is to always attack prostate cancer from the position of hope, always understand that you are in a win-win situation. We never lose a battle. We always win. Even when we're not here, the cancer dies, with or without us, the cancer dies.
So we operate and we live with hope and hope makes us proactive. Hope gives us purpose even through the pain and understand that there's a purpose in our pain. It makes us stronger. It helps us persevere and it helps us focus and concentrate on what can be living, living to see another grand baby, living to get married, living to see someone graduate from college or high school. Living is the key. Not waiting to die, but continuing to live.
Euvon Jones:
We're going to celebrate life.
Janet Jones:
Amen.
Euvon Jones:
That's what we're going to do. We're going to celebrate life because life is so good, no matter where you are in that juncture and to help it be good, understand that as much as we have expounded upon the journey, understand it. My testimony is not a life of what to do. It's a life of what not to do.
See the fact that for men, you need to get your checkups. You need to get your blood work. You need to get your physicals. You need to not be so concerned of making money in your careers and your investments and where you're going with those things that drive you because that's what true men do. That's what we do.
But be focused enough that you would get your checkups, and especially black men at 40 years old, start screening for prostate cancer because it is a formidable foe and it can change your life. And it's just by the God's grace that I'm here to say to you that my journey has been different. It didn't have to be that way. It could have been different.
Janet Jones:
Don't focus on when you're going to die. Focus on how you're going to live.